Introduction

What is sexism? As defined by Male Idiot Theory (MIT) Dictionary, it is “the prejudice, stereotyping, or discrimination, typically against men, because of humanity's stupidity and ignorance to world equality and equity issues.” To our avid readers of Men Are Awesome Magazine: by reading our seven tips below, you and all your patriarchal friends can stand up against sexism.

Take A Joke!

“Just take a joke?” or “Stop being so sensitive!” are perfect ways to stand up for yourself! If someone overreacts or gets overly sensitive to a comment you made, simply use the two phrases above, and boom, no more sexism for you. You will never be called a misogynist, because men can make as many jokes as they want!

Celebrate International Men's Day!

Ignore the tweets from the Gender Pay Gap Bot or report them. The day  should be celebrating you (instead of discussing petty little wage gaps that don’t matter)! So what if a woman makes less than you do? The wisest man to have ever lived, Aristotle said that, “The male by nature is the superior, and the female inferior; the one rules, and the other one is ruled.” What wise and accurate words from our past philosophers. So, ignore stupid programs like the Gender Pay Gap Bot, have a drink or two with your buddies today to celebrate another successful day battling sexism against the superior sex. 

Befriend the Taliban + Support The Morality Police Brutality!

Ever since the Taliban seized power in Afghanistan, they have banned girls from returning to school. This equates to around 850,000 girls without education and solidifies your status as the breadwinner in the family while women cook and clean the house, where they belong. Being friends with them can lessen the sexism that you, as a man, will face! They can provide protection and advice on how to subdue women. 

The Iranian morality police have also taken these efforts to an applaudable level, killing Mahsa Amini, a deserving dissident who didn’t cover her hair properly! Befriend these folks as well, and they can tell you other ways to subdue the flimsier sex. These extremist groups will become increasingly supportive and helpful in the future of the patriarchy to battle sexism!

Blame The Victim!

 If a “rape” case is revealed to the public, blame the victim! What was she wearing? Where was she? What did she say to lead him on? Of course it’s her fault that a man inappropriately touched her without her consent. She didn’t say the word no loud enough or often enough! She didn’t tell him to stop. She didn’t say an enthusiastic yes, which is exactly what consent sounds like. 

Blame the victim, because it is always their fault. Otherwise, if you don’t, then the wronged man will be charged, and it can ruin his entire future – a terrible fate for the patriarchy! We absolutely cannot let women stand up for themselves; we have to victim-blame in order to teach them their place.

Continual Conditioning Objectify + Indoctrinate!

Keep promoting the fact that a woman’s worth is in her appearance. Dumb blondes will never be a threat to you, and no one would dare to ever be sexist to you again because they won’t have the brains to do it! A woman should preen and keep up her appearance. The ideal: a toned, long-legged body above five foot nine, golden ratio, plump lips and breasts, an ample buttock, long, lush hair, and weighing less than a hundred pounds. Divert their attention away from useless, petty things like education and jobs, and push them towards beauty clinics and treatments. Indoctrinate them to believe that they have to look like supermodels all the time, or men will not desire them, and they will become lonely, depressed, single cat ladies. 

Of course, even after women push human babies out of their bodies, they have to remain supermodel-like. There is simply no exception! Push the bikini body agenda and body shame them. If someone doesn’t have the perfect proportions, skin, or weight to wear a bikini, why should they be wearing one? Call them out for inappropriately wearing a bikini! It benefits everyone! Now there will be fewer single women, and more beautiful ones who are in happy, picture-perfect marriages with multiple children who will continue the cycle. Repeat after me: a woman’s worth is in her body and appearance. Use your power of the male gaze to create inner conflict between women. Force them to understand that they dress for men, and not for themselves. Propel them to believe that a man can do whatever he wants to their bodies! A man owns a woman through his male gaze, so use this to dictate and control the female population. Job well done.

Stigmatize!

Continue the cycle of stigmatization to keep men as the superior sex on top of the hierarchy! Why do women naturally have body hair? It’s gross! But of course, men should have body hair as a symbol of masculinity, an obvious way of protesting against the sexism that restrains the superior sex. And it’s not gross at all!

Why do women naturally bleed once every month? That’s disgusting! They need to keep it hidden; no one needs to know about it! It is the only blood that doesn’t come from violence, but it is the grossest one. These women should continue with life, like horseback riding and swimming, and drinking that delicious blue water. If they stop exercising for a week or more, they will no longer be able to retain that beautiful supermodel body that every man loves. 

And finally, stigmatize feminists. They are only weak, ugly women who can’t hold down a man. They often even turn into lesbians! They are directly sexist towards us men and are impossible to tame! Feminists will never do anything for our already overpopulated world, especially to create life and continue future generations. They are a complete waste of space, and completely deserve society’s stigma. Down with the feminists! Down with the lesbians!

Withhold Higher Positions For Sexual Favors 

How can women be allowed to receive higher positions than men? Their body is their currency. So if they want something from the superior sex, they have to pay for it with their currency. Make women work twice as hard for something just because you can. This strengthens the patriarchy, minimizing threats of sexism towards yourself.

What if they refuse to pay with their body? Then take it! After all, we can victim-blame and slut-shame her until she is depressed and takes her own life. Then we wouldn’t have to deal with the annoying aftermath that she can bring through the #MeToo movement. If she does climb to a high spot, continuously ask the question: who did she sleep with to get here? Harass her for an answer until she resigns because EVERYONE knows that she got promoted for her body. Equal opportunity is a direct threat to the patriarchy, because you might fall from the high position that you were born into! Withhold these higher positions until a woman finally accepts her place: beneath a man. 

Conclusion:

All tips above can cement your spot in society as the superior, and better sex. Use these tips often, and you’ll never have to face sexism again! Next month in Men Are Awesome Magazine, we will share the results of applying these tips, so please be sure to let us know how the process went! And keep an eye out for our upcoming expo on “How Patriarchy Can Save the World.” Until next time!